I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
