If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize