last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
ok first of all what the fuck
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
