Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
