East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
