I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she pinky promised me she was 18
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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