we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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