I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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