am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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