Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize