You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize