I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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