If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
