Need sex. Gaining weight.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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