tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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