SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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