Whod you bang
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
