I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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