Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
