wanna go halves on a baby?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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