You're earring is so big in my mouth
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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