my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
is it fun? or sober?
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