does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
