Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Barsexuality is the new black.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
