yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
