I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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