Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
