I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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