"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
