I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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