If i come over, it means nothing
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
