they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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