Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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