Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize