I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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