After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My dick has a subreddit
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
