Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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