If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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