Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
