You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize