i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
