Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
there was a trapeze. enough said
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
be right there i have to get my cape
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Pooping to opera.
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