just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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