that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize