i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
