gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
