Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize