fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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