Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
