i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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