i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
