It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
