I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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