Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
