Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
