he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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