We named our party play list daddy issues
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Found the puke drawer
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
