This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
