FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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