dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
