like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
