I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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