Where did you get a picture of my penis
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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