ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
