At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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