Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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