Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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