Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
