I think I died a long time ago.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
