so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
